Diary of a Pregnant MarySue on Middle Earth
by whysosiriusblack45
Summary: Sequel to "How to Save a Life"! Artemis is on Middle Earth, Boromir is saved, somehow she possesses the Sorcerer's Stone, and she's knocked up with Boromir's kid. What's a Mary-sue to do? Rated T for language and such. :D ON HIATUS
1. How to Piggyback an Elf for Dummies

"I knew it!" I exclaimed for the fiftieth time as I clung onto Legolas' back as he ran behind Boromir, Aragorn, and even Gimli. Now, you might ask why I am piggybacking an elf. Well, it goes like this. We've just launched into the second Lord of the Rings movie "The Two Towers." I'm pregnant with Boromir's baby because of some ill made decisions in Lórien, and I also saved his life using the Sorcerer's Stone from _Harry Potter_. Confused? I would be too. (I recommend going back and reading _How to Save a Life_ otherwise you'll be kinda lost.) Anyways, so I've just saved Boromir's life, and I kinda told him as he was 'dying' that I was pregnant. Not one of the best decisions I've ever made. We had this huge argument about what to do with me because suddenly "everything's ten times as dangerous" for me cuz I'm knocked up. I fought for my right to travel with them because I want to help save Merry and Pippin, but Boromir wanted to take me back to Rivendell. I told him that that would just decrease our chances of saving Merry and Pippin. We had to go after them or else that would be deviating from the story, something I promised Gandalf before his "death" that I would not do. Well, minus the whole saving Boromir part... So anyways, Aragorn came up with the brilliant solution to our problem. *rolls eyes* In order to make it easier for the entire group to travel across the Never-ending Plains of Sprinting, I was to be carried by one of the Fellowship. Boromir had just recovered from being shot and Gimli was too short. Which left Legolas and Aragorn as the candidates. Aragorn was less coordinated then Legolas (mainly cuz Leggy's an elf) so with much grumbling, complaining, and protesting Legolas became my means of transportation. Not that I'm complaining. I'd much rather be carried than actually have to run.

So now we're running across the Never-ending Plains of Sprinting hunting down the orcs who took Merry and Pippin, and for the past three hours I have periodically been exclaiming how I knew that there had to be other book universes if_ Lord of the Rings_ was one.

"Dude!" I yelled to Boromir. "You owe J.K. Rowling your life! I bet Gandalf knew there were other alternate universes too! I KNEW IT! AHAAHAHAHAH!"

"Artemis!" Legolas cried exasperated. "SHUT UP." I grinned maniacally.

"Touchy wee little elf," I pouted. Suddenly we stopped running. I blinked, surprised. I was about to open my mouth to ask what was going on, when I saw Aragorn kneel and place his ear on a rock. I stared at him quizzically. He stayed like that for about a minute before suddenly hopping to his feet.

"Their pace has quickened," he said. "They must've caught our scent! Hurry!"

"Either that or they heard Artemis' exclamations," Legolas said sarcastically.

"I resent that!" I said as indignantly as I could while acting like a human koala bear. "Legolas here is the one _yelling_ at me to shut up, as I recall." I smirked. I could almost hear Leggy's eyes rolling at me.

"Come on Gimli!" Legolas chided. I glanced behind us to see the dwarf huffing and puffing.

"Three days and nights pursuit. No food. No rest. And no sign of our quarry but what bare rock can tell!" he said gruffly while chasing after Leggy, Aragorn, Boromir, and me. It was getting rather boring, all this running.

"I say we should sing a road trip song to lift our spirits!" I cried unceremoniously.

"No," they all said unanimously.

"Fine then," I grumbled clinging a little more tightly around Leggy's throat. He winced and I grinned. "Suit yourself."

"Artemis, please," Boromir said exasperated. I smiled sweetly in his direction.

"Anything for you, Honey Bunches of Oats!" I called to him. I had taken to calling him that, simply because it embarrassed him and annoyed the rest of the gang. I grinned as I saw a blush creep up his cheeks. There was a smirk on everyone's face. At least I was doing something worthwhile; I was keeping their spirits higher than if they were left to their own morose thoughts.

It was now no secret to anyone that I knew what was going to happen; I kinda accidentally let slip that when I was spazzing about how Boromir hadn't died. So now there weren't really any secrets among the Fellowship. I wasn't some mysterious chick who randomly dropped into Middle Earth. I had had to explain to them that Gandalf had summoned me here; I conveniently left out the fact that I was Elithicon. Never mind, there are still secrets in the Fellowship. Only now they all _thought_ they knew everything about me, when in reality they only knew that I was from another universe. Aragorn and Leggy were more willing to believe me because they had known what great magic Gandalf was capable of. Gimli was less inclined, but he eventually came round.

But anyways, I was getting sore from clinging to Legolas twenty-four hours a day. Some fangirls might be jumping up and down with glee from hanging onto a hot elf for what seemed like eternity, but not me. First of all, I already have a man. Second, Leggy is Gwen's. Third, it's Legolas. Ew. (a/n Actually, I think that Leggy's super duper hot, so yeah ) So here we are, running. And running. And running. And jogging. And sprinting. Occasionally walking. Mostly sprinting. Fun, right? I do have to admit, the scenery is gorgeous. I know they filmed most of the movies in New Zealand, but this was Middle Earth. It was ten times as beautiful as the movies. The plains were so flat you could see them stretch on for miles. They stretched so far that you could see where grass turned to mountain on the horizon. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

I found myself dozing off; now I know how Jack Bauer feels, except he doesn't have to cling to a nancing elf. And he's not pregnant. And he doesn't have constant mood swings. Okay, scratch that last part. He does get pretty moody. Moody... moody... Mad-eye Moody? So... if _Lord of the Rings_ is real, then _Harry Potter _is real too? Obviously, I mean, c'mon. I've held the fucking Sorcerer's Stone in my hand! I'll have to ask Gandalf about it once we see him in all his shining white robes and stuff. Oh crap. He's gonna be pissed off that I saved Boromir. Dangit.

"Artemis," a voice said sternly. My head snapped up. I had fallen asleep for a bit. I blinked and found that Legolas was glaring at me.

"What?" I asked belligerently.

"Stop drooling on my shoulder," he said before turning his head and continuing to run. I glared at him.

"Really? You had to wake me up to tell me that?" I said frowning and sticking my tongue out at him immaturely. "Honestly, have you no shame?" He looked at me with a quizzical expression on his face. I smirked. I really _do_ get that face a lot in this universe. Of course, I get that look a lot in the real world too... hm...

I looked around us. We were in a rocky trench, with squishy mud beneath our feet. I scrunched my nose up; it smelled like uruk-hai. Ick. That's worse than Legolas. Sunlight scorched down on me; I could feel the back on my neck getting sunburned. I winced, rolling my head around on my shoulders. I was getting really sore. We had halted again; Aragorn was kneeling, picking up the pendant from Pippin's cloak out of the mud.

"Not idly do the leaves of Lórien fall," he said, hope in his voice.

"They may yet be alive," Legolas smiled.

"Will you people speak English! C'mon! This isn't a Shakespearian play! All you have to say is "Hey, one of the hobbits dropped this on purpose. They're still alive!" Stop with the whole poetic thing. It's making my brain hurt," I said. Since Leggy had woke me up, I had been in a PMS-ing mood. They all rolled their eyes at me and kept running. People rolling their eyes at me also happens a lot here.

"Less than a day ahead of us. Come," Aragorn said, ignoring me. Again.

Gimli suddenly stumbled from behind some rocks and rolled to the ground. Legolas stopped and turned to him.

"Come, Gimli! We are gaining on them!"

"Yeah! C'mon, short stuff! We're almost there!" I called to him.

"Well, excuse me, _Lady_ Artemis! Some of us actually have to walk!" he puffed, putting extra emphasis on calling me a lady. I glared.

"I'm pregnant; I have an excuse!" I shouted back at him as Legolas kept running.

"Well, I am wasted on cross-country. We dwarves are natural sprinters. Very dangerous over short distances!" he huffed.

"Keep telling yourself that!" I yelled back to him.

"Artemis, let him be," Boromir soothed.

"Yes, Darling Butt-Munchkin!" I called as loud as I could to him. I heard a snicker come from Aragorn's direction. Boromir flushed bright red again. "Love you too, sweetie doodle-cakes!" I smiled deviously.

We reached the top of a rocky hill overlooking a wide plain, the uruk-hai barely a pin prick in the distance.

"Rohan. Home of the Horse-lords. There's something strange at work here. Some evil gives speed to these creatures. Sets its will against us," said Aragorn.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked. He ignored me. I huffed. Suddenly, Leggy ran forward and stood on the very edge of the ledge (hey, that rhymed!).

"Legolas, what do your elf eyes see?" Aragorn asked him. Legolas squinted into the distance.

"The Uruks turn northeast... they're taking the hobbits to Isengard!" he said surprised.

"Duh," I said under my breath, knowing Legolas could still hear me.

"Saruman," said Aragorn. And then we started running again. I lost count of how many hours it had been, considering I didn't really have a watch to tell me the time. I was really, really getting sick of all this running. And I wasn't even the one having to run! If I actually had been running, I would've given up a long time ago. I drifted off into uneasy slumber again, constantly getting jolted awake by Leggy jumping off something or other.

I could feel it. The baby, growing. It had been two weeks and a couple days since we had done the deed, and a faint bump was starting to form on my tummy. I have always had a rather fleshy belly; I never ever had abs at any point in my life. Actually, I had for my part always been a bit on the chubby side. But now, this baby was growing in my abdomen, and whenever I touched my stomach now, it felt tougher and less fatty. It was evidence that a child was in my womb; Boromir and mine's child. I smiled to myself. _Our _child. Boromir was going to be a good father; I saw the way he had been with the hobbits. He had smiled and ruffled their hair, always in a cheery mood. That is, until the Ring entered his mind. But after all this was over, Boromir would be free from the Ring. Forever. It would be destroyed.

A jarring voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Keep breathing. That's the key. Breathe," Gimli huffed and puffed. I rolled my eyes. Silly dwarf.

"They run as if the very whips of their masters were behind them," Legolas commented.

"It's called will-power, Blondie," I said.

Darkness crept over the sky, and the stars popped into existence. The moon shined in the black, casting an eerie glow over everything. And still the Fellowship kept running. My pelvis was going to be bruised from bumping into Legolas' boney hips for three days straight. I groaned. I had had enough.

"Can we PLEASE take a break! Just for five minutes! Five minutes! I promise you, the Uruk-hai will be taking a breather as well! Can't we do the same! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU!" I wailed. Yes, I was being a brat. A big, fat, pregnant, PMS-ing brat. And I didn't care. If Aragorn kept the Fellowship running like this, I would snap Legolas' neck.

"I second that, Artemis!" Gimli huffed as the group slowed to a stop.

"I agree," said Boromir, breathing heavily. "Just let us have a breather."

"What if we take a break, and then in the morning we catch up to the Uruk-hai five minutes too late?" spat Aragorn. "What then! We will have failed them!"

"Okay, this is the only time I will reveal my psychic abilities, but trust me. We won't get there too late. And when we get there, you will think that I have lied to you. But you will see," I said, honestly not caring if I messed up the course of the story or not. "A five minute breather will not hurt a soul." Aragorn looked at me with a calculating gaze for a few moments. He gave a sigh of defeat.

"Fine," he said. "A five minute break. No more." A gave a cry of joy and disentangled myself from Legolas, falling to the ground in a heap.

"Ow..." I moaned, just lying there, not having the will to move. Legolas rolled his eyes and walked away to talk to Aragorn about some nancing elf business. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of not clinging to a boney elf. I heard muffled footsteps coming toward me and then a "hump!" as said person plopped on the ground beside me. I cracked open my eye and took a peep at the stranger, finding a sandy blonde Gondorian lying down beside me.

"Hello there, studmuffin," I said cheerily rolling on my side to look at him. His face was saddened. "What is it? What's wrong?" I asked frowning.

"How can you be so cheery at a time like this?" he asked me abruptly. "Merry and Pippin are in the hands of those monsters and yet you act as if everything is wonderful and glorious. Can't you at least act like you're worried?"

"You don't think I'm worried?" I asked him siriusly. "I'm worried sick! Darling, my very existence in this universe could screw up their fate. At least if something happens to them, the guilt isn't resting solely on you. If something goes wrong, it's my fault."

"Then why are you so happy?" he asked me.

"Why am I so happy?" I asked him incredulously. "You're not dead! After seeing you die so many times in the movies, I managed to change that fate! _That _is why I am happy. Simply you being here. Your company in this part of our adventure is enough to make my spirits soar." He looked at me, a small, sad smile breaking his serious face.

"It was so horrible," he said in a low voice. "Seeing you over me, thinking that I was to die. I could see blackness clutching at my sleeves, and I could see our child growing in the future... without a father. I swear to the Valar, I will not leave this world without a fight. I will be with you until the end, which I will make sure will be in the very, very distant future." I grinned at him.

"Till death do us part?" I asked. He took my hand in his.

"Till death do us part."


	2. Eomer Son of Sexiness

So, guess what happened after our five minute break? You guessed it! More running.

Back in the day, when I was in my old universe, our school had been fucked up and for two weeks made us run track because we couldn't make any other sports team. It was basically like being stuck in Hufflepuff. Seriously. What the hell is a Hufflepuff! ;) (Any of you _A Very Potter Musical _people get the joke.) But in all siriusness, track was awful. I was stuck there because I had no coordination in anything but self-defense. Now, you might ask me, "Seriously? You couldn't make _any_ sport team?" Yes. I suck at sports. Which I always found a bit odd because I kicked ass when I got into fist fights. Let's just say, I wasn't a little wall flower at my old school. But now that I know my heritage, I get it. I was an Elithicon. Last of my kind. Basically the same as a human, except I went into splurges of insane fighting skill. I like to call it Mary-Sue Syndrome. Oh, and I'll give birth to my child in four months, not nine. Woohoo. That's basically all that my race does. Then again, they weren't a very documented race. No one knows too much about them. Actually, if you walked up to any person in Middle Earth (besides Gandalf and a few select elves) and asked them what an Elithicon was, they would stare at you funny. I already get enough weird looks around here. It's what happens when Americanism and Middle Earth collide. Fun, huh? Any ways, back to track. Wow, I get off topic easily. So, back in track class, I had had the frickn creepiest coach ever. When he talked to you, he would literally get within three inches of your face. And it wasn't just his face getting in yours, his entire body would be no less than four inches away from yours. Let's just say that he had serious personal bubble space issues. We had even tried an evasive maneuver: sticking our leg out in front of us so he couldn't get close to us. Didn't work. He just came up next to you on your side, getting even closer to your face. He was the main reason I hated track. Besides the whole running part. So let's just say anytime I even thought about running, I thought about track team. And when I thought about track team, I thought about my creepy coach.

So as Blondie- er- I mean, Legolas sprinted across the Never-ending Plains of Sprinting, my creepy track coach kept popping up in my mind. I was torn between the urge to laugh my ass off and the urge of violently throwing something. I chose laughing. So as we were running, I was barely clinging to Legolas and snorting uncontrollably. Something which annoyed basically everyone except Gimli for some reason. I honestly don't really know what I found that funny about my old track coach. I just felt like laughing. This whole situation was ridiculous. I was piggybacking Legolas because I was pregnant. It sounds like something a crack-head fanfiction writer would think up. I was interrupted from my laughing by Legolas. The prat.

"A red sun rises. Blood has been spilled on this night," he said morosely. The grin was wiped off my face. I hoped that nothing had gone wrong; I would never forgive myself if Merry and Pippin-.... I can't even finish the thought.

"None of it hobbit blood," I tried to say confidently. But I was beginning to doubt myself. Up until this point it seemed like nothing could go wrong. The man I loved had escaped death's clutches. I had thought that was the only thing that mattered to me. Thinking about it now, I was wrong. I couldn't think of anything that could have gone wrong that would alter Merry and Pippin's fate. They would still be alive. I could only hope.

We came to the top of a hill and I could see a herd of horsemen in the distance. I gulped looking at them. The Riders of Rohan. Aragorn motioned for all of us to get behind a cluster of rock to the side and watch the horsemen pass. We dived behind the rocks, and I detached from Legolas, falling lightly to the ground, which took basically all of my concentration. I watched silently as the riders galloped past our hiding place. As soon as they had cleared us, Aragorn walked out from the rocks. I stared at him. What was the point of hiding if you were just going to yell at them afterwards? Seriously...

"Riders of Rohan! What news from the Mark?" he called to them. They group immediately turned in unison and before I knew it, we were suddenly surrounded by big, scary people on horses with sharp pointy objects aimed at our throats. I was really getting sick of this happening to us. One of the only guys not holding a spear addressed us. It was Éomer. I pushed butterflies out of my stomach. He was one of the other _Lord of the Rings_ characters that I _mildly_ have a crush on. He's no Boromir, but I do have to admit, Éomer is easy on the eyes. I mainly like Karl Urban as that assassin dude in the _Bourne Supremacy_ and as Bones in _Star Trek_.

"What business do an Elf, two Men, a Dwarf, and a Woman have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly!" he said.

"Give me your name horsemaster, and I will give you mine," Gimli retorted.

"Haha, you just pwned!" I snorted. He glared at me disdainfully.

Éomer hopped off his horse and glared menacingly at Gimli.

"I would cut off your head, Master Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground," he said nastily. Okay, no matter how attractive Karl Urban is, he really can play nasty when he wants to as an actor. Seriously, have you seen him in _Bourne Supremacy_? Scary...

Suddenly, Blondie- er- Legolas pulled an arrow and notched it in his bow aiming it at Éomer in about two seconds flat. So that's why he's in the Fellowship! Badass arrow skills.

"You would die before your stroke fell," he said menacingly. I know, right! Legolas being menacing! Crazy talk! My nancing blonde elf had grown up! I could cry!

"Defending your lover there?" I whispered without moving my lips and in such a low voice that I was certain only Legolas could hear me. "Wished you had kissed Shorty instead of Aragorn in truth or dare?" Legolas glared at me out of the corner of his eye. I resisted the urge to smirk. He dared not make a retort in his current situation. All of the people surrounding us were oblivious to what was going on between us. Something that made me want to grin even more. Plowing on with the script, Aragorn made Leggy lower his weapon using his mystical power to get people to do what he wanted, and then turned to Éomer.

"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. This is Gimli, son of Glóin, Legolas of the Woodland Realm, Boromir of Gondor, and Artemis... of Gondor. We are friends of Rohan and of Théoden, your king," he said as he gestured to each one of us in turn, obviously improvising that I was from Gondor. Smooth. I was impressed at Aragorn's lying skills.

"Théoden no longer recognizes friend from foe..." he said, obviously saddened. He pulled off his helmet, blonde hair tumbling to his shoulders as the riders withdrew their swords. "Not even his own kin." I ogled at him. Éomer is one yummy studmuffin. Very charming features. Course, I have an even sexier studmuffin, happened to be named Boromir. Speaking of who, I saw frown at me out of the corner of my eye. Maybe I shouldn't have been eying Éomer... No harm to look right?...

"Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king and claimed lordship over these lands. My company is those loyal to Rohan. And for that, we are banished. The White Wizard is cunning. He walks here and there, they say, as an old man hooded and cloaked. And everywhere, his spies slip past our nets," he glared at us accusingly. I stared defiantly back at him. He was honestly expecting that _I _was a spy? I mean, I would understand if I looked like some buff skilled chick with a weapon. But I don't even have a weapon! The Fellowship decided that giving me a point object that could easily impale a person... say a certain blonde elf... while piggybacking Leggy would be a bad idea. I have to admit I can't argue with that logic. Also, I was gaining weight pretty fast what with eating for two, and I was never in shape to begin with. So... I have no idea why he was looking at me suspiciously. Then again I couldn't quite read his face. Was it suspicion or something else? I couldn't tell. I edged subconsciously toward Boromir, grabbing his hand in mine as Aragorn tried to convince Éomer that we weren't spies.

"We are no spies. We track a party of Uruk-hai westward across the plain. They have taken two of our friends captive," he said evenly.

"There were two Hobbits. Did you see two Hobbits with them?"Gimli said desperately.

"They would be small. Only children to your eyes," Aragorn added anxiously.

"We left none alive. We piled the carcasses and burned them," he said shaking his head.

"Dead?" Gimli asked quietly. All members of the Fellowship looked horrified but me. I felt kinda guilty not feeling any horror, but if nothing went wrong, then Merry and Pippin would be safely in the hands of Gandalf by now.

"I am sorry," he said sincerely, frowning slightly at my attitude. I wasn't being giddy or anything, I just wasn't being sad. "Hasufel! Arod!" he said. Two horses were led to the inner circle.

"May these horses bear you to better fortune than their former masters. Farewell," he said gravely. He nodded specifically at me, interested, yet sympathy leaking from his features. I saw Boromir frown again. Éomer hopped back up on his horse, donning his helmet once again.

"Look for your friends. But do not trust to hope. It has forsaken these lands," he said.

"Well that's a bit pessimistic," I grumbled. He stared at me curiously, but then turned to his riders, commanding them.

"We ride north!" he said and they all rode off, leaving us with two horses.

"You know what this means?" I asked them. The Fellowship shook their heads no. "No more riding Legolas!" They didn't find that funny.

Aragorn pulled Gimli onto the shorter horse (though only shorter by an inch or two) motioning for Leggy to get on in front of the dwarf. Legolas looked pointedly away from my direction, his cheeks flushing red. I smirked.

"You and Artemis shall ride on Hasufel," he said to Boromir. Boromir nodded and mounted the horse easily. I took his hand as he offered it, and he then pulled me onto his lap. I blushed, having to sit in such an intimate position. I saw out of the corner of my eye Legolas smirking at me. I growled at him, and he rolled his eyes, trotting his horse off in the opposite direction. Boromir's arms wrapped around me as he grasped the reigns, following Legolas. Poor Aragorn had gotten the short straw and was running beside us. Actually, he was pretty damn fast; he managed to keep a short distance ahead of us. We headed off in the direction of the smoke. I could already smell the burning orc flesh from here. It made me want to vomit; not to mention it was morning now. Here comes the morning sickness. I hastily pulled the tonic out of my knapsack, downing the medicine in one gulp. Boromir looked at me confused.

"What was that?" he asked.

"A tonic for morning sickness," I replied. A blush spread across his features.

"Oh," he said shortly. I sniggered. I guess women weren't so blunt about the details of pregnancy on Middle Earth. I shrugged at him.

"Galadriel gave it to me," I told him. He nodded in understanding, but didn't comment. I frowned at him. "I've barely talked to you except for our five minute breather since you almost died. Now that we have time to talk, you won't respond. What's up?" I asked. He mumbled something. Surprisingly, I didn't hear it even though I was within inches of him. "Didn't catch that."

"I didn't like the way he looked at you," he said.

"Who? Leggy? Cause he's given me worse looks before-" I started.

"Not Legolas," he said cutting me off. "Éomer." I looked at him in surprise.

"Wait- why?" I asked him. He looked ahead, not willing to meet my gaze.

"The way he looked at you... you know how he was looking at you. And you were looking at him the same way too," he said darkly. I stared at him, clearly not getting whatever it was he was implying.

"What way would that be?" I pressed him further. He looked at me like I was insane.

"You were looking at him- like... like you were interested in him. _That_ way," he forced out. I stared at him. And then I burst out laughing.

"Are you _jealous_?" I asked him incredulously. "Of a guy I met five minutes ago!"

"You met me only a month ago!" he said. I could see his point. "And from what I know of you and your universe, you've probably know his character for months, even years!"I shrugged my shoulders.

"Yeah, so?" I said. "It's just Éomer. Darlingk, I chose _you_. I saved _you_. I love _you_. I'm carrying _your_ baby. Do you really think that the first time our love is tested I would sway?" I ranted, now getting somewhat mad at his lack of faith in me. "What is this! An awkward high school teenage relationship! We're both grownups here!" He looked at me softly.

"I know, I know," he sighed in defeat. "But what do you expect? You're the most gorgeous woman in the world. And we're not technically married yet..."

"You think that makes a difference?" I asked him incredulously. "We could never get married and I would still be faithful to you." I paused, blushing. "You really think I'm gorgeous?" He grinned at me.

"You are the most awe-inspiring, lovely, mysterious, stunning, elegant, striking, magnificent woman I have ever met," he said kissing me on the cheek.

"What did you do? Rape a dictionary?" I mocked, blushing all the same. He shook his head at my vulgarity, but smiled none the less. That smile soon faded as the smell of burning orc flesh hit our noses full blast. I choked on my breath. The smell was even worse than when we were in Moria with the thousands of rotting corpses. I blanched. Even the morning sickness tonic couldn't keep me from feeling the need to barf. I covered my mouth and nose with fabric from my sleeve, hoping to filter out the disgusting odor. I looked around, seeing the pile of dead orcs completed with a filthy uruk-hai head thrust on a spear, turned around, and then proceeded to empty my stomach, leaning off the side of the horse. Boromir grimaced and held my hair away from my face.

Gimli gave a huff of shock and scrambled off of his horse, and immediately ran over to the pile of stinking carcasses, poking through the ashes with his axe. Boromir and I dismounted from the horse, Boromir holding me in his arms before taking my hand and leading us over to Aragorn and Legolas. Aragorn was breathing extremely heavily from his running. Poor bloke. He volunteered to not ride a horse, and here he is catching his breath and being supplied with foul air to inhale. I grimaced.

"It's one of their wee belts!" Gimli cried softly.

"Don't kick the orc helmet," I told Aragorn because Viggo Mortensen actually broke his toe in real like when he did that. Aragorn turned to me, sadness etched deeply in his face. His expression turned to agonizing rage and he drew out his sword. I backed up hastily.

"_You_," he said darkly pointing his sword at me. I gulped. Oh shit. "You said that they'd be fine. If we hadn't rested we could've gotten here in time!" He advanced on me. I looked at him terrified. I know he was pissed, but he surely wouldn't kill a mere girl? He was an honorable man.... right?

"Aragorn- listen to me," I stuttered. "They're-"

"No!" he roared, enraged. "It's your fault! We failed them. They would be alive if not for you!" He held up his sword, turning it almost thoughtfully at me. "You're altering the path."

Suddenly, Boromir was in front of me, his sword clanging against Aragorn's. He pushed him away from me, and disarmed him, sending Aragorn's sword scattering out of his hand.

"Touch her and it will be the last move you make," Boromir breathed dangerously. Aragorn looked at him shocked.

"Stop it!" I yelled at them both. "Aragorn, they aren't dead! They ran into Fangorn Forest to escape the fight!" He stared at me. I pointed to the ground on which he stood. "Can't you see? A hobbit lay there not long ago." He grudgingly tore his gaze from me to the ground. He frowned, kneeling to the ground.

"They crawled," he said, tracing the path with his fingers. "Their hands were bound..." he crawled forward pulling up a bit of rope from the mushed up ground. "Their bonds were cut."

"Now he listens to me," I said angrily at Aragorn. He was ignoring me. I made a nasty face at him. He continued tracing the path, crawling along the ground.

"They ran over here... They were followed. The tracks lead away from the battle..." he said excitedly. Then a frown crossed his face. He looked up and stared directly at me. "...into Fangorn Forest."

"Told you so," I growled at him.

"Fangorn? What madness drove them in there?" asked Gimli in awe as he stared at the ominous forest.

"Hm... I don't know," I said sarcastically. "Maybe a bloodthirsty orc that wants to take a bite out of your leg? Then there's the fact that you'd be half his size, have basically no muscle, and don't have a weapon? Or maybe they just wanted to go on a camping trip!" I retorted, directing my words angrily at Aragorn. He had just gotten demoted on my list of likable people on Middle Earth. I understood he had been pissed off, but he pulled his sword on me! I wasn't armed either! Bully...

"C'mon," I said bitterly. "Let's go." I stalked off by myself into Fangorn Forest. Gimli, Boromir, Legolas, and Aragorn looked at me, shocked by my boldness and nerve to walk straight into a creepy forest. I began picking my way through the trees. I looked around behind me. The four were still standing at the edge of the forest.

"Get you butts in here before I kick them myself!" I called back to them before turning back and voyaging deeper into what could most likely be my doom. Fun stuff, huh?

* * *

Hope you liked it! :D Basically popped this out in a couple hours. I should be studying for my exam tomorrow, but I didnt because I love you guys so much. I love you guys so much that I'm risking failing the exam to write this for you guys! Be thankful! :P lolz, nah I do have an exam tomorrow, but I've studied enough that I should be able to scrape an okay grade. Plus I really didnt want to study, so I wrote. :) Read and Review pleases!


	3. Announcement: On Hiatus

So, a lot of you know, but a lot of you don't know, this entire summer I was away at camp, so I was unable to keep writing new chapters for DoaPMSoME. I'm sorry that I haven't updated sooner or left an announcement that I was going to be gone for 8 weeks before I left. It slipped my mind. So, besides updating you on _why_ I haven't been updating, I'm also writing this announcement to tell you that I am deciding to take a hiatus for an indefinite period of time. I don't feel the inspiration I once did to write this story, though I have ideas. It's like a weird version of writer's block. I didn't want to leave everyone anticipating the next chapter, but it never coming, so I'm posting this message to tell you all that I'm gonna take a break from LotR. I still love it to death, as much as I've ever loved it, but I'm gonna dabble in other movie fanfics. One day I will continue DoaPMSoME, but as for now... Farefarren my good peoples of fanfiction. net


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